Am I being who I have become?
This question has been haunting me for a while. Not the thought that I haven't achieved what I set out to do years ago (although I'm quite capable of that!). Not the idea that I could have climbed higher on the corporate ladder by now. Not even the concept that I still don't have my dream house and garden yet.
In so many ways, my life is incredibly blessed. I have a wonderful family, healthy and active. I have a home I enjoy and friends to enjoy it with. I have work that I enjoy and colleagues that make Monday a reunion rather than a horror. And yet...
I wonder if I'm being who I have become over the years. I have changed, but I'm not sure that I'm living those changes fully. Life and its joys and challenges have changed me, strengthened me. They have also awoken in me a longing for something more. The visible representations of my dreams might be similar to what they were in the past, but somehow, there is a voice in me that is challenging me to take on something more... because I can... because I have changed and grown and am not fully being that new person...yet.
So my challenge to myself in 2012 is to be more fully who I have become, to be this stronger, more compassionate and more rooted person, to take on things that previously were too big and scary. To remind myself that I am now able to handle bigger and scarier things with grace and to open myself up to the world just a little bit more.
My challenge to us all then, is to fully face ourselves as we have become and to ask ourselves as we move through this year 2012: Am I being all of who I have become?